I became aware of sunlight through my closed eyes. Next, the sound of chirping insects. Then it was the pain.
I opened my eyes to azure-blue skies and friendly clouds above me. I was lying on a carpet of thick green grass. It was spring, or maybe early summer. Was this heaven? I wondered. But when I tried to sit up thoughts of heaven flew from my mind replaced by hot pain on my right side. A surprised yelp escaped from my mouth. It felt as if I had been stabbed. I looked down at myself expecting to see blood spreading its crimson stain on my shirt. There was no blood, but I lifted my shirt to reveal an angry bruise spreading from my side to the middle of my stomach.
For a long moment I had no memory of who I was, where I had been, or how I had gotten to this place. I was once again struck by the beauty of my surroundings in stark contrast to the pain howling from my body. Where was I and what the hell had happened to me? Then my memory rushed back to me like a tidal wave, but its knowledge gave me little comfort. All it gave me were questions. Who am I? Am I in fact a man named David? Am I real, or am I just a figment of the imagination of a courageous woman named Ellie? Is the beauty and pain around me real or is it just part of another story I wrote? Me and my bullshit stories! Stories that no one reads. Had one of them misfired and now I’m stuck in the middle of it, my mind gone by a stroke or madness?
I tried to focus on the now. I looked around. I had awakened in the middle of a broad valley with snow-capped mountains on either side. There was no one about; no signs of human activity. After a few minutes the pain seemed to subside, and I struggled to my feet. Near me was a peaceful river flowing shallow and slow. I was suddenly aware of a great thirst. I half stumbled to the river as if in a trance, wading in shin deep before dropping to my knees. I drank its sweet waters greedily. I washed my face in its sublime coolness. It made me feel alive. It made me feel clean to my soul. After a time I crawled out of the water and sat at its edge, panting with relief. Then panic welled within me. Where the fuck was I?
That was when I saw the doors, two of them facing each other about thirty feet apart. They were not attached to anything. They were just—there-- two doors in the middle of nowhere like something in a Stephen King novel.
I knew I had free will. If I wanted to I could ignore these doors and walk off into the verdant wilderness that surrounded me. Maybe I’d find a road that would take me to civilization, or at least give me a hint as to where I was. But deep inside I knew there would be no civilization, no paved welcoming road. I knew with uncanny certainty that I had awakened in another world as different as the one I just left. I knew that if I were to walk away from this valley there might be another adventure waiting for me—or death—if that was what I wanted.
Reason came to me. I am no Ellie Lewis. Adventure is not a part of me regardless of the fact that I had walked through the door in that damned café that ultimately brought me here. Yet a door was being offered to me again. Make that two doors! Hope filled me. Were they a way home? Home to Trish, home to my children, my granddaughters?
Tears welled in my eyes. What had I been thinking doing this, ending up here? Yes, I live an exceptionally ordinary life, one full of both heartache and laughter, but it was a life. I had chosen it just as surely as Ellie had chosen to end hers.
I wiped my face with my sleeve. “Be a man,” David, I told myself. “For once in your life be a fucking man!”
I stood and walked between the doors. I could feel their pull on me. I knew I was being given a choice. I could choose either door. It was purely up to me. I walked up to the one on my left, forced my hand to the cool touch of its knob, turned it, and cracked it opened. I peeked in. I could see a steel storage rack filled with cans. It was the rack in the storage room at the 4 Corners Café. It was my way home.
I should have flung it opened and ran through, throwing myself on the wooden floor and thanking God I hadn’t been killed, but that wasn’t what I did. I closed the door and started for the other one. I knew was being stupid, but I…just…had…to…see.
But when I stood before the second door I stopped. I had seen enough movies to know what was on the other side of that door. There would be a light, of course. A blindingly brilliant light calling me to the existence beyond life. There I would find my departed loved ones, peace and happiness. Or maybe I would see stars and the colors of eternity draped across a universe before me. If this was another one of my bullshit stories that was what I would write about—something wonderful on the other side…
My hand gripped the handle, but I froze. I just couldn’t do it. I knew that if I opened that door that would be the end of me. The end of everything I held dear in the ordinary life I lived on planet earth. I knew that if I waited, the door would be offered to me again one day when my time of living was finally over. “Be patient, David,” I whispered to myself. “The time will come again.”
I turned and looked back at the first door. It was now standing open and wide, inviting me to step through to my life of giggling granddaughters and frustrating car deals: the path I had chosen, the life that was meant for me—at least this time around.
-------------
I awoke in my car. I was sitting in front of my house on California Street. I had no knowledge of stepping through the door, the café, or the ride home. My body ached, but I felt strangely refreshed. The memory of a strong, determined woman named Ellie Lewis was within me. Am I somehow her, and is she somehow me? Guess I’ll never know. I’ll just write down what happened and let others decide.
What do you think?
I opened my eyes to azure-blue skies and friendly clouds above me. I was lying on a carpet of thick green grass. It was spring, or maybe early summer. Was this heaven? I wondered. But when I tried to sit up thoughts of heaven flew from my mind replaced by hot pain on my right side. A surprised yelp escaped from my mouth. It felt as if I had been stabbed. I looked down at myself expecting to see blood spreading its crimson stain on my shirt. There was no blood, but I lifted my shirt to reveal an angry bruise spreading from my side to the middle of my stomach.
For a long moment I had no memory of who I was, where I had been, or how I had gotten to this place. I was once again struck by the beauty of my surroundings in stark contrast to the pain howling from my body. Where was I and what the hell had happened to me? Then my memory rushed back to me like a tidal wave, but its knowledge gave me little comfort. All it gave me were questions. Who am I? Am I in fact a man named David? Am I real, or am I just a figment of the imagination of a courageous woman named Ellie? Is the beauty and pain around me real or is it just part of another story I wrote? Me and my bullshit stories! Stories that no one reads. Had one of them misfired and now I’m stuck in the middle of it, my mind gone by a stroke or madness?
I tried to focus on the now. I looked around. I had awakened in the middle of a broad valley with snow-capped mountains on either side. There was no one about; no signs of human activity. After a few minutes the pain seemed to subside, and I struggled to my feet. Near me was a peaceful river flowing shallow and slow. I was suddenly aware of a great thirst. I half stumbled to the river as if in a trance, wading in shin deep before dropping to my knees. I drank its sweet waters greedily. I washed my face in its sublime coolness. It made me feel alive. It made me feel clean to my soul. After a time I crawled out of the water and sat at its edge, panting with relief. Then panic welled within me. Where the fuck was I?
That was when I saw the doors, two of them facing each other about thirty feet apart. They were not attached to anything. They were just—there-- two doors in the middle of nowhere like something in a Stephen King novel.
I knew I had free will. If I wanted to I could ignore these doors and walk off into the verdant wilderness that surrounded me. Maybe I’d find a road that would take me to civilization, or at least give me a hint as to where I was. But deep inside I knew there would be no civilization, no paved welcoming road. I knew with uncanny certainty that I had awakened in another world as different as the one I just left. I knew that if I were to walk away from this valley there might be another adventure waiting for me—or death—if that was what I wanted.
Reason came to me. I am no Ellie Lewis. Adventure is not a part of me regardless of the fact that I had walked through the door in that damned café that ultimately brought me here. Yet a door was being offered to me again. Make that two doors! Hope filled me. Were they a way home? Home to Trish, home to my children, my granddaughters?
Tears welled in my eyes. What had I been thinking doing this, ending up here? Yes, I live an exceptionally ordinary life, one full of both heartache and laughter, but it was a life. I had chosen it just as surely as Ellie had chosen to end hers.
I wiped my face with my sleeve. “Be a man,” David, I told myself. “For once in your life be a fucking man!”
I stood and walked between the doors. I could feel their pull on me. I knew I was being given a choice. I could choose either door. It was purely up to me. I walked up to the one on my left, forced my hand to the cool touch of its knob, turned it, and cracked it opened. I peeked in. I could see a steel storage rack filled with cans. It was the rack in the storage room at the 4 Corners Café. It was my way home.
I should have flung it opened and ran through, throwing myself on the wooden floor and thanking God I hadn’t been killed, but that wasn’t what I did. I closed the door and started for the other one. I knew was being stupid, but I…just…had…to…see.
But when I stood before the second door I stopped. I had seen enough movies to know what was on the other side of that door. There would be a light, of course. A blindingly brilliant light calling me to the existence beyond life. There I would find my departed loved ones, peace and happiness. Or maybe I would see stars and the colors of eternity draped across a universe before me. If this was another one of my bullshit stories that was what I would write about—something wonderful on the other side…
My hand gripped the handle, but I froze. I just couldn’t do it. I knew that if I opened that door that would be the end of me. The end of everything I held dear in the ordinary life I lived on planet earth. I knew that if I waited, the door would be offered to me again one day when my time of living was finally over. “Be patient, David,” I whispered to myself. “The time will come again.”
I turned and looked back at the first door. It was now standing open and wide, inviting me to step through to my life of giggling granddaughters and frustrating car deals: the path I had chosen, the life that was meant for me—at least this time around.
-------------
I awoke in my car. I was sitting in front of my house on California Street. I had no knowledge of stepping through the door, the café, or the ride home. My body ached, but I felt strangely refreshed. The memory of a strong, determined woman named Ellie Lewis was within me. Am I somehow her, and is she somehow me? Guess I’ll never know. I’ll just write down what happened and let others decide.
What do you think?
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